So What Now?

What a week, first of all thank you for all of your kind messages and support for little Johnnie. I am sorry for not getting back to you directly. I read every message, and comment made on his photos, you are all so kind.

The operations were a success, and little Johnnie bounced back straight away and is recovering well. It does not fail to amaze me with him, that even when his favoured right hand is bandaged and beyond use, he immediately found a way to adapt. No complaining, just 15-20 seconds of experimenting and it was done.

How many adults do we all know, who would milk the situation and adopt a victim mentality?

Well the first night we all went to stay at the Great Ormond Street patient Hotel, and the environment did of course bring about the usual excitement for Johnnie, bed bouncing, shrieking and a general fun time was had. He was throwing around his comfort toy and could even make out Grover from Sesame Street looking at me and mouthing “Help me” as his fate was sealed.

The next day, bright and breezy, Johnnie had to be on Dinosaur ward, as his operation was first up. Naturally, this brief stint was met with the usual carnage, controlling a bag of eel’s is easier than getting Johnnie to sit down. Every opportunity was taken to head for the exit or to attempt to bounce of the wards beds.

There were parents on the ward, who were obviously a mix of old hands, and new parents, with children down for their first or many operations. They all had one thing in common, and that was there silence shattered by a shrieking Johnnie running around in circles in maniacal a state, reminiscent of a blond Gnome on PCP.

The next stage was the check up by the surgeon, followed by the technical world renowned NHS procedure, of marking the site of the operation with a biro arrow.

We walked Johnnie to the operation theatre, like the big boy he is now, he was ever so brave (or unaware), he sat on Julies lap whilst he was administered the gas, after a short struggle he went to sleep. This is the part that always upsets me, as my position at the back of the theatre is one of helplessness. You fight against your protective instincts and allow the doctors to do their jobs.

So what now?

The above is the title of today’s blog as there is always the dilemma of what do you do next. Every usual action, cliché, obviousness of pacing back and forth on the ward, clock watching, is actually futile.

What next? Breakfast! It is important for Johnnie that his carers do not fail in their duties, and being emotional without nutrition believe it or not, does not aid in some ones recovery.

There was little Hotel Brassiere nearby, which served an all-you-can-eat buffet breakfast (£6.95) they had some premium products and was of a high standard. For those who do know me, would be amused that during the breakfast my time was spent mentally calculating the margins, and concluded that they must be desperate for business as they were low. Also much to my horror this was compounded by the high volume of wastage at the end of service, which would only add to further reduced profits.

This cheered me up, as for those who know me, know better than to mess with my margins. I actually, and quite worryingly, get a bit of wood every Thursday at work, when my weekly margin results come through. That moment of reading that your wastage, is under the threshold, and you have made overall gains, is the most satisfying a non-sexual experience a man can have within the workplace.

Afterwards, we went to a local bookshop and browsed, then made our way up to Johnnie’s room, which would be on Peter Pan ward. We read for a bit and we were called to the recovery room just as he was coming around. The whole thing lasted only 3-hours.

The operations as mentioned went well, and we kissed, hugged and looked after our little boy through-out the night. We took him home later the next day, with suggestions of placing carrier bags, with elastic bands when eating and bathing so that the bandages stay dry.

We are back for the dressing to be removed under general anaesthetic in two weeks time.

In every situation you have to take a positive, and through-out the experience my mind was racing. There were some good ideas for my book, and the ending that had eluded me for so long was crystal clear in my mind.

The best lesson was of course for me to come to a conclusion about life, and to best explain will give you my own metaphor.

“Life is like an unfinished cartoon, with us the artist. What is happening in life is what is on the page now, the colours, the people and our behaviour. There is no point worrying about what is on the next page, as it has not been painted yet”

I am a big fan or Dr Wayne Dyer, and would recommend his first book “The Erroneous Zone”, this does highlight the futility of worry.

To finish the blog with a quote there is no one better than the great benefactor of Great Ormond Street, who bequeathed the rights to Peter Pan for an eternity – JM Barrie.

‘Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves’

That quote is for you Johnnie, I love you.

Next week I will be back on track, but would like a challenge. So would like some topic suggestions, this does help me practice researching.

So see you all soon, love to all xxxxx

Scott

The Curse or the candle

‘Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear’ - Mark Twain

‘If we fear the unknown then surely we fear ourselves’ - Bryant H. McGill

Pinned onto my office door is an adapted quotation from Eleanor Roosevelt, it states that before you enter you must be optimistic as you have two choices either 1. Light a candle or 2. Curse the darkness. (Abridged version)

The meaning of the quote is simply to stress that rather than complain about a problem, come into the office with an open mind to discuss a solution.

The quote is quite apt, as on Tuesday my Son (Johnnie) is having a series of hand operations to bring him into the five fingered crowd. (Gloves for Xmas) and to be truthful, I can be Mr Worry guts. : (

Like most parents, my time has been spent, and wasted, on what could happen. I am entering the room and cursing the darkness, or more simply put.... I have a fear of the unknown and creating a scenario in my mind of what could happen.

In thinking about our future, our current lives, we all need to light that candle and give ourselves a break. We are pre-conditioned to fear of the future as this encourages us to consume.

I remember one of the most cynical advertising campaigns several years ago by Heinz, it announced that due to low sales it was axing ‘Salad Cream’, low and behold, outrage, panic , and then Heinz wanting to play the hero, decided that they will buckle under public opinion, and shelve plans to axe the cream.

To be the cynic, and in the style of Dave Chappelle.

‘Word?’

However, we trick our own minds all the time, if only on a subconscious level, but this does drive our behaviour. Whatever we imagine is the worst scenario possible, and how it affects us. We even create how our emotions control us, and even paralyse us.

What we need is a dose of courage.

Before Christianity swept across Europe, and especially Britain, we were a mix of Pagan warrior and farmers. We worshiped many gods and only feared their actions, which they witnessed in the manifestation of misfortune and natural acts. It only become later that the rise of Christianity brought along fear of the church’s Dogma, and man-made doctrines.

No longer could the strongest man simply take what-ever they needed, some say this is evolution. Strength was measured about how rigorously you stuck to the teachings of the bible out of fear, and a moral code that restricts natural instincts for fear of the ‘unknown’.

I would even go as far to say that courage became elusive, not all but gone, but the precursor was always fear of the unknown. When you fear an invisible entity, would be wrong to say that you could also fear your emotions if they did contradict Dogma.

The moments before battle the ancient Pagan warriors used to bang on their chests with a war cry, this point of the body increases courage and used to inspire the warrior into victory. This stimulates adrenalin around the body.

Let me see you war face, was something that I used to do as an ice-breaker when training Lifeguards in a previous life.

I was of course taken aback by this, as last week my quarterly visit to my Kinesiologist suggested that there was some fear, with regards to Johnnie’s operation. She gave me a technique to help me overcome this.

This is similar to The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), but was more simple and direct and involved me taking my first two fingers and constantly tapping my sternum for over a minute. I bring my fear in the open, and tap away stating that positive and courageous statements.

I appreciate the cynicism, and not that long ago would have joined you in mocking condemnation. However, I have seen the results of these tapping techniques and urge you to at least read about EFT. (light the candle, and do not curse the darkness of what is the unknown)

So, courage can help me hold a candle whilst in the darkness. Surely this should be for everything in my life.

Keeping the accent on the positive, feeling the fear, banging my chest and go roaring in knowing that all I need to do is see the six inches in from of my face.

These six inches, this space does have a word, and that my friends, is called NOW!

Now is the place we live, there is no fear in Now, as we cannot emotionally predict and see beyond now. We have to live in each passing moment, and enjoy each solitary second.

I read once a beautiful poem by William Blake, and believe that it encapsulates everything that I am trying to say.

‘He who binds to himself a joy’
‘Does the winged life destroy’
‘But he who kisses the joy as it flies’
‘Lives in eternity’s sunrise’


There are lots of meanings, but binding to a joy could be living in denial trying to recreate a good time from the past, maybe even love? We do not live in the past, only in the now. So we must love everything that passes by us by. As this will only give us eternal happiness.


Puss Puss

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PS - I will update about Johnnies operation next time, take care. All the pictures will be up on Facebook

The Re-Up

‘Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.’- Voltaire

‘A happy family is but an earlier heaven’- George Bernard Shaw

All we need is a stage, dawg! He’s back……………………………..

Every now and then, despite our best efforts, the books we read, the company we keep, we just cannot help but get back into that routine of being unhappy.

The state of unhappy is akin to being an ex-smoker; we never really recover and will always class ourselves as an ex-smoker rather than a non-smoker. This is predominately down to the bigger badge you get for giving up a bad habit, rather than ever starting one.

Now in reflection this is wrong, and just highlights even at our lowest ebb, the ego still rules. Adoption of the victim mentality really does get us some mileage; we judge our self worth by the amount of suffering we have been through. We compare to each other and form a social status with this information.

I am becoming more aware of this. Last week someone phoned me at work and the usual greeting of how are you by the caller, was met by me telling them about how great I am feeling, what my lunch consisted of, even my food intolerances could not stand in the way of the fabulous risotto consumed only an hour before. I then asked them about themselves.

‘Not bad’ came the in-depth reply.

The conversation on a subliminal level had moved on, the caller was not impressed with my cheerfulness, and considered that I took advantage of an insincere salutation.

So moving onwards and upwards, like a flower to the sun we all grow up as one. The subject of this week’s blog is the re-up, in narcotic circles this means to redistribute oneself with more drugs for means of retailing.

However, the metaphor is me re-supplying myself with a shot of happiness and will distribute to all you kind patient readers.

Now my blog’s have been considered lengthy, so my devoted audience, you will be pleased that today and all future writings will not be war and peace, maybe crime and punishment, but certainly not a strain to read.

Happiness to some is like football, it does not matter how much Real Madrid spend on players this year, and their defence will still be subjected of constant mugging off by opposition teams. I feel like this at times, but life is like that. The trick is to let the scores against you go, but using skill, teamwork and dedication the objective is to score more goals that are let in.

So what could we really do about goals, for and against us?

Nothing really, we just have to uncover the joy of happiness. Just like the tortoise and Hare parable, aggressive running and ego caused the hare to sprint off, and the arrogance of ego thought he could rest before the joy and happiness of the Tortoise overtook him.

The following table is the re-up, and will list (non exhaustive) all pleasure things that you can do, Pleasure will always lead to contentment and will ultimately lead to joy

PLEASURE - Happiness of the Body

CONTENTMENT – Happiness of the World

JOY – Happiness of the Spirit

Pleasure – Walking in the woods, long baths, sexual gratification (no matter how bizarre), listening to music, cooking, eating, painting, dancing, singing, writing, exercise, pumping iron, beauty therapies, cheese making, wine tasting, being with family, fishing etc……

So how simple is this theory if you keep doing only things that give you pleasure. The quote by Voltaire does stress that not trying anything does lead to unhappiness and happiness cannot be found by doing anything or nothing with excess or abstinence.

The quote at the beginning of the blog by George Bernard Shaw, does stress that one thing can bring you heaven on Earth, and that is family.

I have so much gratitude for my kids and love spending every Monday with my daughter. This has been called Daddy and baby girl time. I am enjoying taking my daughter Lilith to play centres, the zoo, the beach, swimming and for food. Who knows this could get me a better retirement home when I am old.

; )

So to finish, my new stream line blog hopefully has delivered. In summary be a friend to yourself and fill your head and subject your body to and with pleasure. This will in turn fill your heart and soul with contentment and joy.

Finally, some wise words from Kurt…………………..

‘I'm so happy because today I found my friends - they're in my head’ - Kurt Cobain

See you again

Scott xxxxx

Fade to Grey

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter” -Mark Twain

“Love cannot save you from your own fate” - Jim Morrison

“It's better to burn out, than to fade away” - Neil Young

We are all aging; however like plants, many of us do not flower.

Why?

A complex question, and every person out there has a different answer, but my theory is that we, they, them, all reach what is called “the comfort zone”. This comfort zone is a treacherous land and we spend most of the time teetering on the edge balancing on one leg.

We spend our time frustrated that we have fallen out of it, and with resentment that it is hard to get back. When we do get back, we made a solemn vow never to venture out again.

To quote the wise Homer Simpson when highlighting the morality of trying to improve there situation came up with this gem “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try”

So we never try, and we just ‘Fade to Grey’.

This week, as part of the Scott Everest random season, Leopardwoman and I, went along to Steve Stranges 50th birthday party in Punk nightclub in Soho Street London. Now for those who do not know Steve Strange, he was one of the founding fathers of the New Romantic Movement in the late 70’s early 80’s, and was the promoter of ‘The Blitz Club’ which is situated in Queensway, Holborn.

He was also in a pop band called Visage, and they had a successful hit called ‘Fade to Grey’.

Now my life is really all about midgets, vampires, writing, swimming and reading. However sometimes, with all the interests, you can sometimes forget that life is to be enjoyed.

Now, we have all heard the WVMM ‘white van man mantra’, all I need is 3 square meals a day, money for fags and a beer, curry on a Saturday Night, watch football on a Sunday and my health and I am a happy man.

If this does genuinely make him happy, then all power to you, and the three top quotes actually validate that.

It’s just…………………………………………………………….. I kind of do not want to die with my music still in me. That is a metaphor for regret, and to re-visit Homer’s quote of just not trying, it’s just not me.

I have been to many self help seminars, which cynically and quite obviously are sales pitches. They want to exchange their work + your money x fingers crossed + dedication = accidental result.

The above is not a criticism of the guys and gals out there earning a living this way, whom I have a tremendous respect for. It is more a poke in the eye to people like me.

I had an epiphany, and this inspired the whole blog and put me at ease with myself. When we get into a comfort zone (whatever size) to stay there we develop habits. If you are a multi millionaire or a coach potato, your behaviour is relative.

However, not changing up, the comfort and enjoyment begins to fade…………….

So what do we do?

Well, my happiness is fading and from watching ‘The Wire’ and to think of love, happiness and wealth as a drug, then I am going to have to call up Stringer Bell and Avon Barksdale and ask for a ……………………………………….

Re-Up!

This is the title for my next blog, an intravenous shot to the arm that can be taken again, again and again. It never runs out, but it is very addictive.

I am to give you the answer to happiness, love, wealth, cheese and good skin.

A bold statement and a personal challenge!

Please click on the survey to say you have read the blog.

Scott xxx