Part VII - Anger

‘Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured’ - Mark Twain

I am writing this blog quite early in the day, and I am fortunate enough to be looking after my daughter. She is coming up to two years old and is quite talkative and even though she is attaching pegs to my laptop and asking me to the whereabouts of her shoes, I am not angry.

So why do we get angry? A different answer from everyone I expect, however there are things that trigger these angry moods, outburst or regrettable actions.

I have many, which I will list. For some reason admitting those, puts them out in the open and dilutes the pent up rage.

· Slow Drivers / Walkers / shop assistants
· Old people who go shopping on weekends, who clearly have all week to shop
· Simon Cowell and any related person or TV show
· Soap Operas
· Newspapers
· Lateness

I think Freud would have suggested that as a child I had to wait too long for a cuddle, but maybe patience is not my strong point.

However, an irony is that I have stood on street corners in my youth, waiting hours for girls to turn up and remained as enthusiastic upon their arrival as if they were there on my arrival.

So this confusion as to why anger affects different people needs to be explained, but each case is full of ironic hypocrisy and overriding limited beliefs.

How to explain?

The most suitable metaphor would the case of the ‘Incredible Hulk’. The human element in this story is played by Bruce Banner, who as a brilliant scientist but totally emotionally withdrawn. He is described as a genius; however this higher knowledge led him to design a Gamma Bomb which was capable of killing millions of people.

A test goes wrong, and there is an irony that the Bomb causes an affliction which heightens the emotions that have been withdrawn for so long.

Now the very thing that Bruce Banner avoided before the accident is the very normality he craves, and now has to avoid emotionally charged situations, as fear of the monster erupting within.

Anger is a complex emotion, but for a 1000 word blog will try and simplify and look at two different types.

The first one is INWARD anger, and keeping with the theme of deadly sins one of the worst sins was to take one’s life. To be angry within was deemed as spite and suicide was the final act of wrath and rejection of god’s gifts. (As per the Catholic Religion)

This is the origin as to why suicide is classed as morally wrong and illegal, as it a rejection of god itself as his manifestation is every man. This subject can be argued and debated upon, and without having either viewpoint with this scenario, my bum with feel the splinters as I sit on the proverbial fence.

Inward anger can be externally expressed through self harm, with examples of cutting, over eating and sexual promiscuity. This list is not exhaustive.

There are many reasons but self-loathing through limited beliefs is usually the seed that sprouts into full inward rage. So before the shouting begins, there are genuine victims, however once the person makes the choice and decides that it will not be the status quo the healing process begins.

One example of this is the mother of the murdered 8-year old Sarah Payne. You will expect this woman to be raging with the authorities and the world because her daughter was murdered by a well known and released paedophile. Yet when asked she states, that she can’t hate the person as that will overshadow the love and memories of her daughter.

I for one do not have the self-control and strength to do that. I sincerely hope that is never tested and will be happy in my ignorance and my character not to be tested.

‘For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.’ - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We often have triggers that ignite our outward anger, and this emotion can stay with us for a long period. We often use the trigger as the excuse for the projected emotional trauma we put our colleagues, friends and loved ones through. We almost try to justify our behaviour.

The trigger can more often than not be a person and the most evil part of anger is the act of vengeance. It is when we act upon our anger, and the trigger is the target of elimination, is when we truly lose control.

Dante described vengeance as “love of justice perverted to revenge and spite” and we all have the warped sense of righteousness in all of us. This level malevolence manifests itself in many ways from Hitler’s, Pol Pots, Genghis Khan’s, Saladin’s and British led genocides have all been born from vengeance. These acts have all come from one place or emotional act.

They are called limited beliefs.

These are learned from your social environment, but can be unlearned.

So I sign off from this series and will be back on form next week.


TTFN

Scott