"'There's no use trying,' said Alice, 'one can't believe in impossible things.'
'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen'When I was your age I used to practice for half an hour a day.Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'"
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go”– Oscar Wilde
I have now been writing my blog for over 3-months, the main purpose was to help with my burning ambition to become a writer.
Over time I have been experimenting with my writing style and subject matter, choosing difficult subjects and different research methods. I have tried writing in the morning, afternoon and night, with exercise and without exercise, with music and without music. I have eaten before and after writing and feel now that I have discovered my own winning formula.
With this formula my first novel is well on the way the being completed, and everything is on course for my book to be fully edited and a publish date ready for its launch. How do I know this? Well I believe it will happen it is just that everyone involved just do not know it yet.
I am know longer little Alice, doubting all her surroundings who would rather give in to her fear than believe what is front of her eyes. I do believe, and have witnessed my daughter fall down 99 times when trying to walk but on the other side she rose 100 times and succeeded.
My son Johnnie, who you may be aware has various disabilities and has trouble walking down slopes, yesterday he tried yet again this gargantuan feat. Even though half way through he shouted and screamed in frustration, he never gave up, and carried on going until he completed this task. There was a look of satisfaction and achievement on his face as he tasted success.
The title of this blog is “I love the rain on my scars” a ‘Streets’ lyric that encompasses the contents and topic of my weekly blog.
We all go through personal journey’s some positive, some that are not but along the way some self created limited beliefs.
I know that my journey has taken me to a better place, none other when I get negative feedback from my blog. I am not talking about the usual grammar and spelling mistakes (grateful for them) but the personal attacks or what is known in the blogging world as “flaming”.
There is no point in lying to you all, a few months ago this would rile me to a point where I would not be able to sleep with the rage that would build up inside of me, and would have usually reacted by publicly abusing them back in a personal, aggressive and more insulting way.
Now I just let it go, it does not matter. The only person who can affect my behaviour now is me and those who I allow to do so. However some of these messages have although negative have inspired me and can see a positive message from them all, and will expose them to you all and to feel “the rain on my scars”.
The subject on a few of them, was in general to get out and be positive not to sit and write blog’s and do things like skydiving etc.. I will single out skydiving as cheesy metaphors can be derived from it.
Now the suggestion was that to experience life fully you should try something new like skydiving, which actually I agree what a rush that would be the experience of your body resisting against the air current then suddenly pull your cord and you rise sharply as you view the eternal vistas of the land before you as you spiral towards the earth. You land and execute your little tuck and roll, gather your parachute and make your way back.
So that took let’s say 20-minutes, so what next? The adrenalin from that jump is addictive; the dopamine released has created an unbeatable euphoria and you cannot wait for the next fix. However when you’re breathing returns normal along with your heart rate the euphoria starts to dissipate and is replaced by a highly emotional state that is in contrast to the experience several minutes before.
In short, what goes up must come down.
Now replace the act of skydiving with some other activities which can create temporary euphoria such as shopping, gambling, spending, eating, fighting, stress, drinking, drug-taking, sexual acts, television programmes, winning, gossiping and of course asserting power over people.
All of these acts give you all temporary highs with the associated crashes when the feeling from act has dissipated. The cycle of addiction starts when you depend on repeating the original euphoric act to release you from the crash. Then guess what?
The cycle repeats.
So what is living without the above? I am not saying that we should not skydive as everyone should try this once and other acts as the feeling of the adrenaline is natures high. The thing that you need to be careful is not to become an Adrenalin Junkie.
There are people who are not comfortable with the term Junkie but let me put some things into context for you; people drink constantly because there happiest memories have been whilst drunk, people overeat because they associate food with feeling good (self hatred also, but another blog) we gamble higher and higher as the feeling of winning against betting everything they own creates such stress that the high is so much more powerful. (Only examples, majority of issues are more deep rooted)
I am sure you can take what you will with the above, but the original question put to me was why don’t I go out and enjoy life. I do! seeing my children grow gives me such a sense of self worth and contributing with there development balances a man as it is their primal purpose. This is the same feeling as cooking and bringing them food.
There are occasions when going out drinking socially is great as a good night is had by all without comparing it against constant depressive episodes of the withdrawal when it is over, thus no negative connotations are associated with it.
However, what ever comments that were made, do have there origin from sound reasoning (although poor examples). I do believe they are well intentioned, and what they do encourage is for you is to not sit in what is known as your comfort zone, and you can only leave your comfort zone by doing “something everyday that scares you”.
Positive thinking is not enough as thought is not action, and action is the missing element for most of us. If this was simple for us then it would be easy to do, however we do have to push ourselves through the barrier and the phrase “Do something everyday that scares you” is the mantra we should all live by.
A lot of you may not realise that April was the world stress awareness month; stress is created by developing limited beliefs for various reasons. They can be related to an addiction created before or after the action / behaviour. Stress is more often than not a cog in the cycle of addiction.
“I have a poster behind my desktop PC, which depicts a man climbing up a vertical ice stalagmite without safety ropes. I purchased the poster as it suggested to me that man can achieve un-limitless things when he puts his mind to it, at the time this was a powerful visual to have when working on the PC. Now, I find myself asking why was he climbing that ice stalagmite was it a sense achievement? Was it ego? Or was it because it scared him?
Whatever he did, it was the right thing for HIM to do. I did think that if it was the last two of ‘ego’ or that it ‘scared him’ that he would be a single man or a family man that was selfish and an adrenalin junkie.
So what have I done every day that has scared me? Well there have been many little things, there was a time when I would not even answer the phone and used to screen every call – I no longer do this.
I used to have a fear of the hairdressers, as when I was young the tip of my ear was cut off by a hairdressers – I am no longer afraid to have a haircut
I used to spend every night frustrated and angry about the day’s events, as never used to say anything when things annoyed me – I no longer am afraid
I used to think that there was never anytime for me to relax – I now make time
I used to think that it was everyone else’s fault that I was not happy – I now truly accept myself
I used to be affected by other people comments and actions towards me – I no longer grant permission for anyone to affect me
I no longer walk around without a smile on my face and smile at everyone – OK a bit of work needed, but will do this
I no longer ignore or do not talk to strangers – I aim to speak with everyone whom I make eye contact with, even if it a good morning
So here I am, 34 years old stripped naked and standing before you all and singing “I love the rain on my scars”
To quote Oscar Wilde and using his dying words to describe my previous limited beliefs and fears.
“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go”
The wallpaper is just a metaphor for the coverings we put up in our life through stress, ego, limited beliefs and vanity.
Lots of love, Scott xxxxx - who just wont sit idly by, with a tut and a sigh
NB:
I have written this as an afterthought, when thinking about Oscar Wilde who was the purveyor of many quotes, some with such cutting wittiness. We should not be afraid to poke fun at ourselves at times, as life is fun and should not be taken as serious as sometimes the media portrays or I do at times.
I am reminded of one of Oscar Wilde’s later works ‘De Profundis’ and the self-depreciating quote aimed at me, so will ironically quote it.
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation”
Seriously, the blog is my mental Sudoku and by taking quotes, ideas and interpreting and expanding them helps me.
Life is what it is – First and foremost it’s YOURS!
'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen'When I was your age I used to practice for half an hour a day.Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'"
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go”– Oscar Wilde
I have now been writing my blog for over 3-months, the main purpose was to help with my burning ambition to become a writer.
Over time I have been experimenting with my writing style and subject matter, choosing difficult subjects and different research methods. I have tried writing in the morning, afternoon and night, with exercise and without exercise, with music and without music. I have eaten before and after writing and feel now that I have discovered my own winning formula.
With this formula my first novel is well on the way the being completed, and everything is on course for my book to be fully edited and a publish date ready for its launch. How do I know this? Well I believe it will happen it is just that everyone involved just do not know it yet.
I am know longer little Alice, doubting all her surroundings who would rather give in to her fear than believe what is front of her eyes. I do believe, and have witnessed my daughter fall down 99 times when trying to walk but on the other side she rose 100 times and succeeded.
My son Johnnie, who you may be aware has various disabilities and has trouble walking down slopes, yesterday he tried yet again this gargantuan feat. Even though half way through he shouted and screamed in frustration, he never gave up, and carried on going until he completed this task. There was a look of satisfaction and achievement on his face as he tasted success.
The title of this blog is “I love the rain on my scars” a ‘Streets’ lyric that encompasses the contents and topic of my weekly blog.
We all go through personal journey’s some positive, some that are not but along the way some self created limited beliefs.
I know that my journey has taken me to a better place, none other when I get negative feedback from my blog. I am not talking about the usual grammar and spelling mistakes (grateful for them) but the personal attacks or what is known in the blogging world as “flaming”.
There is no point in lying to you all, a few months ago this would rile me to a point where I would not be able to sleep with the rage that would build up inside of me, and would have usually reacted by publicly abusing them back in a personal, aggressive and more insulting way.
Now I just let it go, it does not matter. The only person who can affect my behaviour now is me and those who I allow to do so. However some of these messages have although negative have inspired me and can see a positive message from them all, and will expose them to you all and to feel “the rain on my scars”.
The subject on a few of them, was in general to get out and be positive not to sit and write blog’s and do things like skydiving etc.. I will single out skydiving as cheesy metaphors can be derived from it.
Now the suggestion was that to experience life fully you should try something new like skydiving, which actually I agree what a rush that would be the experience of your body resisting against the air current then suddenly pull your cord and you rise sharply as you view the eternal vistas of the land before you as you spiral towards the earth. You land and execute your little tuck and roll, gather your parachute and make your way back.
So that took let’s say 20-minutes, so what next? The adrenalin from that jump is addictive; the dopamine released has created an unbeatable euphoria and you cannot wait for the next fix. However when you’re breathing returns normal along with your heart rate the euphoria starts to dissipate and is replaced by a highly emotional state that is in contrast to the experience several minutes before.
In short, what goes up must come down.
Now replace the act of skydiving with some other activities which can create temporary euphoria such as shopping, gambling, spending, eating, fighting, stress, drinking, drug-taking, sexual acts, television programmes, winning, gossiping and of course asserting power over people.
All of these acts give you all temporary highs with the associated crashes when the feeling from act has dissipated. The cycle of addiction starts when you depend on repeating the original euphoric act to release you from the crash. Then guess what?
The cycle repeats.
So what is living without the above? I am not saying that we should not skydive as everyone should try this once and other acts as the feeling of the adrenaline is natures high. The thing that you need to be careful is not to become an Adrenalin Junkie.
There are people who are not comfortable with the term Junkie but let me put some things into context for you; people drink constantly because there happiest memories have been whilst drunk, people overeat because they associate food with feeling good (self hatred also, but another blog) we gamble higher and higher as the feeling of winning against betting everything they own creates such stress that the high is so much more powerful. (Only examples, majority of issues are more deep rooted)
I am sure you can take what you will with the above, but the original question put to me was why don’t I go out and enjoy life. I do! seeing my children grow gives me such a sense of self worth and contributing with there development balances a man as it is their primal purpose. This is the same feeling as cooking and bringing them food.
There are occasions when going out drinking socially is great as a good night is had by all without comparing it against constant depressive episodes of the withdrawal when it is over, thus no negative connotations are associated with it.
However, what ever comments that were made, do have there origin from sound reasoning (although poor examples). I do believe they are well intentioned, and what they do encourage is for you is to not sit in what is known as your comfort zone, and you can only leave your comfort zone by doing “something everyday that scares you”.
Positive thinking is not enough as thought is not action, and action is the missing element for most of us. If this was simple for us then it would be easy to do, however we do have to push ourselves through the barrier and the phrase “Do something everyday that scares you” is the mantra we should all live by.
A lot of you may not realise that April was the world stress awareness month; stress is created by developing limited beliefs for various reasons. They can be related to an addiction created before or after the action / behaviour. Stress is more often than not a cog in the cycle of addiction.
“I have a poster behind my desktop PC, which depicts a man climbing up a vertical ice stalagmite without safety ropes. I purchased the poster as it suggested to me that man can achieve un-limitless things when he puts his mind to it, at the time this was a powerful visual to have when working on the PC. Now, I find myself asking why was he climbing that ice stalagmite was it a sense achievement? Was it ego? Or was it because it scared him?
Whatever he did, it was the right thing for HIM to do. I did think that if it was the last two of ‘ego’ or that it ‘scared him’ that he would be a single man or a family man that was selfish and an adrenalin junkie.
So what have I done every day that has scared me? Well there have been many little things, there was a time when I would not even answer the phone and used to screen every call – I no longer do this.
I used to have a fear of the hairdressers, as when I was young the tip of my ear was cut off by a hairdressers – I am no longer afraid to have a haircut
I used to spend every night frustrated and angry about the day’s events, as never used to say anything when things annoyed me – I no longer am afraid
I used to think that there was never anytime for me to relax – I now make time
I used to think that it was everyone else’s fault that I was not happy – I now truly accept myself
I used to be affected by other people comments and actions towards me – I no longer grant permission for anyone to affect me
I no longer walk around without a smile on my face and smile at everyone – OK a bit of work needed, but will do this
I no longer ignore or do not talk to strangers – I aim to speak with everyone whom I make eye contact with, even if it a good morning
So here I am, 34 years old stripped naked and standing before you all and singing “I love the rain on my scars”
To quote Oscar Wilde and using his dying words to describe my previous limited beliefs and fears.
“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go”
The wallpaper is just a metaphor for the coverings we put up in our life through stress, ego, limited beliefs and vanity.
Lots of love, Scott xxxxx - who just wont sit idly by, with a tut and a sigh
NB:
I have written this as an afterthought, when thinking about Oscar Wilde who was the purveyor of many quotes, some with such cutting wittiness. We should not be afraid to poke fun at ourselves at times, as life is fun and should not be taken as serious as sometimes the media portrays or I do at times.
I am reminded of one of Oscar Wilde’s later works ‘De Profundis’ and the self-depreciating quote aimed at me, so will ironically quote it.
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation”
Seriously, the blog is my mental Sudoku and by taking quotes, ideas and interpreting and expanding them helps me.
Life is what it is – First and foremost it’s YOURS!
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